


Alea jacta est

by Aouregan



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Male Friendship, Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-02-23 13:07:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23845174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aouregan/pseuds/Aouregan
Summary: Merlin knew that he had to make a choice. It was either to save Morgana from the clutches of Morgause or to prevent Camelot from certain destruction. He knows that once he makes his choice that the die has been cast and that there is no turning back, but when he makes a decision, he discovers that the consequences are severe.Based off of the episode 'The Fires of Idirsholas'.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	Alea jacta est

**Author's Note:**

> AN: The meaning of the title is ‘The die is cast’ or ‘Let a die be cast/thrown’ and is a Latin phrase that was used by Jules César that means that once you make a decision or once there is some motion that takes place, that there is no return. In César’s case it was said shortly before battle as he crossed the Rubicon river to attack Rome. In this story, I have found the phrase to be fitting as Merlin had to make a choice that set him on a path that he could not return from.
> 
> This story was meant to be my Canon Merlin fic last year. The due date has long passed, and I am extremely sorry to the mods of the community for not finishing on time or publishing it. However, life happened and now that I am working at a lab, I haven’t been writing as much anymore. This story is based off the episode **‘The Fires of Idirsholas’** and represents what I feel should have happened. It annoyed me a lot that Merlin’s magic wasn’t revealed to Arthur until the end when the two of them were supposed to build Albion together. Due to the length of this story, I have decided to divide it up into chapters.
> 
> This is unbeta-ed. If there’s any mistakes, please let me know so I can fix them. Originally, the story was meant to be titled ‘Choices’ but I thought that the title I chose was more fitting for what the story was about.

_“You will need more than words to break this magic. It takes powerful magic to create this disease, but to maintain it, you need a vessel. You must eradicate the source of the disease. Only then will the spell be broken.”_

Merlin knew that he had to make a choice. It was either save Morgana from the evil clutches of Morgause or save Camelot from destruction. He knew that he had to act fast, that it was more than the future of the kingdom that was at risk- that if he didn’t do anything quickly, then Arthur would suffer a fate worse than death once captured by the enemy.

Yet, as he watched Morgana tearing the bedsheet that they used to drag Uther to safety, he realized that she was terrified. It was clear that she didn’t understand what was going on. She had watched as the people of Camelot fell where they stood, and when she was the only one standing, had hid out of fear of what was going to happen to her. How could he possibly do what he was supposed to when he knew that the woman that had her back to him was not the monster that Kilgharrah made her out to be? Could he kill a woman that had become one of his closest friends?

 _There must be another way!_ He told himself furiously as he quickly busied himself by tying a tight knot into the two pieces of bed-sheet that Morgana threw his way. _You cannot kill an innocent person. A person who is your friend, your ally. Somebody that is like you- who has magic. You can teach her…_

Merlin heard Arthur cry out in pain from the other side of the door and stopped what he was doing. He couldn’t see what was happening, but it had become still and quiet. The sound of clashing swords had ceased. Even the raspy breaths of the Knights of Medhir seemed to have stopped. He felt his blood run cold and got to his feet. However, before he could take a step towards the door, to see what was happening… to help if he could, he felt Morgana tug him down to the floor.

“We won’t stand a chance, Merlin.” She held onto him tight, her fingers digging into his arm as she prevented him from standing up. “These knights… there’s something wrong with them. They are not human, Merlin. We’ll die if we try to fight them.”

“Arthur will die if he stays out there!” He yelled out as he yanked his arm out of Morgana’s grasp. “We need to unbar the door and pull him inside. The door should be strong enough to keep the knights busy and we can get out of here safely.”

“And what if they are outside the door, Merlin?” Morgana asked him, her eyes suddenly cold as she regarded him. “These are knights. They are trained in battle. Do you really think that they’d be defeated as easily as slamming a door in their face? Even if Arthur is cornered against the door and you were to get him inside this room, you wouldn’t be fast enough to close and bar the door. They’d kill us, Merlin!”

Merlin sagged to the floor and struggled to keep his eyes open. When Morgana had touched his arm, he felt as though all his energy had drained out of him. He heard Morgana yelling at him to wake up but found that he couldn’t move. He felt her drop to her knees beside him, slapping gently at his face, begging him to wake up and not leave her alone.

“If you don’t get up, I promise you that I will tell Arthur about this, Merlin!”

He fought to open his eyes and gazed up at Morgana blearily and struggled to get up. “We need to finish this and quickly.” He gestured to the pieces of bed cloth that littered the floor. “We can get Uther out of here and come back for Arthur.”

Morgana nodded, immediately going back to the task of tying pieces of sheet together to make a long rope. Merlin blinked back tears as he watched. He knew that the bedsheet wouldn’t produce a rope long enough to get Uther down into the cart, but with Morgana’s attention on her task, he could do what he came here for. When she had touched him, he had felt the dark magic run through her veins. Yet, he didn’t want to believe that she had turned her back on those that she loved. It must have been an enchantment put onto her by Morgause.

He furiously wiped away tears as they threatened to fall and grabbed for his water skin. He knew what he needed to do, not only to save Camelot from ruin, but to save them all. For a moment, he hesitated, his eyes on Morgana as she tore more pieces from the cloth to make a longer rope. Then he dug into his satchel and grabbed the bottle of Hemlock that he had grabbed from Gaius’ cabinet and put a few drops of the poison into his water skin.

 _Please forgive me for what I am about to do._ He thought to himself as he pushed the water skin towards Morgana. “Here, I want you to drink some water,” he said softly, and though he tried to numb himself to what was about to happen, he felt as though his heart was about to shatter into pieces. “You’re most likely thirsty and we don’t know how long it will be until we come upon some water.”

Morgana paused long enough in her work to give him a searching look and shook her head, returning to what she was doing before saying. “I am not thirsty.”

“You need to drink something, Morgana. Who knows how long you’ve gone without water?”

“I am fine,” she said without glancing up at him.

“I insist. Please, I have watched people in my village flee invaders and not drink for hours or days on end. They get sick and die. We will not have time to stop until we are far enough to be safe.” He held the water skin out for her to take and was relieved when she reluctantly took the skin from him and brought it to her lips.

Before she could take a sip, a bang resounded loudly from outside in the corridor and they heard Arthur angrily shout something that sounded muffled, as though he was pressed up against the wall. She set down the water skin and turned her head towards the sound with a frown. She turned back to Merlin; her eyes filled with terror as another loud crash was heard outside the door.

“Merlin, we need to do something!”

He closed his eyes, rubbing at his temples as he thought quickly then reached for the water skin and brought it to his lips and pretended to take a sip. He took a deep breath and pushed the water skin back into Morgana’s hands. “You’re starting to tire. Take a drink of water. There’s only a little left. You should have it before it is gone.”

She nodded absently and finally took a drink of water before setting the water skin aside. Merlin turned away when he saw the first signs of the poison working. It was subtle at first. It started with Morgana rubbing uncomfortably at her throat, but then she was gasping for air. Merlin quickly wiped away his tears, refusing to look at Morgana as she struggled for breath, but then he felt her magic as she panicked, and he found that he had to look at her. He was startled to see that she was staring at him in horror, her hands ripping away at her throat in her panic to breathe.

“What have I done?” He whispered and felt immediately sick with himself as he watched Morgana slowly die. He tried to pull himself away as he needed to get to Arthur or better yet to find Morgause and to kill her for what she forced him to do, but he found that he couldn’t leave Morgana. If she were to die, it would be for the best if she didn’t die alone.

“I am so sorry,” he said to her as he pulled her into his arms. “I am sorry. I had no other choice. Morgause put an enchantment on you to get people sick. I am so sorry. I didn’t want to do this but Kilgharrah…” his voice cut off as he felt hot tears trail down his cheeks and land in Morgana’s hair. “I had no other choice. I cannot let innocent people die but I cannot save you, too. You need to understand and forgive me.”

Suddenly Merlin felt as though a powerful wind lifted him off the floor and throw him across the room. The force of the impact stunned him, and he grunted in pain as he tried to move his wrist. When he looked over at Morgana, he saw Morgause holding her, whispering something in her ear that he could not hear.

“Stay away from her!” He yelled as he managed to get to his feet. He struggled to keep his magic under control, a feat made almost impossible by the rage he felt when he saw Morgause. “You dare try to save her when you used her like this?”

“How dare I save her when you caused her harm?” Morgause demanded angrily. “I didn’t do anything that would have harmed Morgana, but you…” she pointed her finger accusingly, her eyes blazing with hatred. “You have caused this to happen.”

From outside in the corridor, Merlin heard Arthur demanding to know what was going on, yelling at him to open the door to let him in to help. For the first time, Merlin defied his orders and ignored him. He stood to his full height and glared at Morgause who still held Morgana tight to her chest.

“Tell me what you’ve done to her,” Morgause demanded him. “She’ll die if you do not tell me.”

Merlin slowly advanced towards her. “And what would have happened once you were finished with her? Once she did your dirty work for you? She would have died anyway! Only it would have been by your hand, not by mine.”

The windows in the throne room shattered as Morgause’s magic exploded out of her in her anger. However, Merlin stood his ground and refused to back down.

“I will not,” he said barely concealing the rage he felt towards the sorceress before him. “I will not tell you what I gave to her until you stop the attack against Camelot.”

“You cannot tell me what to do,” Morgause snapped at him. “You are nothing more than a servant! A poor boy that serves Arthur. You have no authority over me!”

Merlin raised his eyebrows and gazed pointedly at Morgana. “Don’t I though? After all, if I don’t tell you what I gave to the Lady Morgana, she will die, and you will not be able to save her.”

Morgause screamed in anger. “You tell me what you used, or I swear that I will kill you.”

“Then she dies with me!” Merlin yelled as he took a few steps towards her. He heard Arthur on the other side of the door, yelling in anguish, pleading with Merlin to open the door so that he could get inside. He turned his attention back to the witch on the floor before him and chose to ignore Arthur once more. “You gave me no choice. You put an enchantment on her to bring Camelot to her knees. You got her to make people sick with this disease. I had to do what is right to save Camelot.”

Morgause sneered. “Is it right to murder somebody that you call your friend?”

“Stop the attack and I will tell you what I gave her,” Merlin commanded, feeling his magic bubble just beneath the surface. With difficulty he managed to control it and focus on what he needed to do. “Stop the undead knights and you can save her, but if you don’t then I promise you that she will die and there is not one thing you can do to stop it.”

Morgause studied him for a moment before she bowed her head, whispered something into Morgana’s ear that Merlin could not hear and then raised her head again. _“Astýre ús þanonweard! Cnihtas Medhires, éower sáwla. Rid eft ond forsliehð eft.”_

Merlin saw her eyes fall on him as he removed the bottle of hemlock from his satchel and held it out to her so that she could read the label. He saw Morgause’s eyes flash dangerously, but she grabbed for the bottle in his hand’s and held Morgana tightly in her arms. She opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by Arthur who had managed to find his way into the room through the servant’s passageway. He was alone, but Merlin knew that it was only going to be a matter of time before the rest of the knights woke up and found their way to his side.

Arthur’s gaze was upon Morgause as he advanced with his sword drawn. However, he paused and glanced at Merlin, his gaze hostile. “What have you done with my father?”

“He’s safe, Arthur.”

Arthur studied him for a moment, his eyes never leaving his and suddenly Merlin felt himself go cold. He realized that Arthur had overheard what he had said to Morgause, but as he braced himself for Arthur’s attack, the prince turned his attention back to Morgause.

“You’ve lost the battle, Morgause,” he said, his voice dripping with venom. “Do not return. If you do, you will be put to death.”

Merlin knew what was going to happen before Morgause opened her mouth to speak. He had felt her magic boil to the surface in her anger and threw himself in front of Arthur just as Morgause raised her hand and yelled out. _“ic i cwelle se brynewelm!”_

“No!” Merlin yelled in anguish, pushing Arthur out of the way and raising his right hand as a wall of fire rushed towards him. _“Múr beweraþ ús!”_

The flames that had been seconds from hitting their target suddenly stopped as though they had hit a glass wall. With his right hand still raised, Merlin made a circular motion with his left hand and forced the flames to become a ball of fire, then threw it back towards Morgause. He watched as the witch’s eyes grew large, but just as quickly managed to put out the fire before it struck her with a wave of water. From behind Merlin, he heard Arthur’s gasp of surprise and glanced back to find that the prince had managed to get to his feet and was now looking at him in stunned disbelief.

He lowered his hands, his attention now focused on Arthur who seemed incapable of speech. Merlin saw his eyes shit from him to Morgause then back again.

“Arthur, I…” Merlin started to say.

However, Arthur’s attention was no longer on him but on Morgause who had raised her hand again. Merlin watched as Arthur’s face transformed from shock to dawning realization, and then finally into fear. As if in slow motion, Arthur charged forward, but it was too late. Morgause’s spell had hit Merlin and lifted him into the air, he felt as though his body was on fire, as though the spell was eating him from the inside, and then he hit the floor.

 _“Merlin!”_ Arthur yelled, his voice sounding oddly far away, as though Merlin had been thrown clear out of the room. “What did you do to him?”

Morgause laughed as she watched Arthur’s obvious torment and was about to say something when the knights of Camelot suddenly rushed into the room. She held Morgana tightly in her arms, gave one more scathing look towards Arthur and disappeared before the knights could approach.

Merlin felt as though he was being torn apart with the spell that Morgause hit him with and he clenched his teeth as he felt himself jerk in pain. Moment’s later, Arthur was at his side, pulling him into his arms just as Uther appeared from where they had hidden him.

“Of all the stupid things you could have done,” Arthur said to him as he tried to look for any visible injuries. “Just don’t die. Don’t die, Merlin. We’ll get you to Gaius. He’ll know what to do. He should be awake by now. You will see, everything will be fine.”

The last thing Merlin remembered before everything went black was feeling excruciating pain as Arthur and one of the knights moved him so that he could be carried to Gaius.

**Author's Note:**

> Translations: I have decided to use both the spells and enchantments that are from the show and that I have made up. For the ones that I have made up, I used an Old English translator that has been quite useful to me. I know that I have made mistakes with the words that I have used since I am not a student in Old English studies, and had some difficulty finding the tense or which version of the word to use. However, it was great fun to look into Old English as I have noticed that the language was more Germanic than the modern language, which seems to be heavily influenced by the French. If somebody reading this story is a student of literature/Old English, then I would definitely love some input on how to make the spells seem more fluid as I personally find them to be a bit awkward as I tried to pick and choose which one seemed like the best fit.
> 
>  _Ic i cwelle_ means to kill/to slay and _brynewelm_ means of fire.
> 
>  _múr beweraþ ús_ means wall protect us!


End file.
